Welcome to Ted's Diner

"Hey Ted, have you ever thought about life in space?" Rachel, an undercover space-hunter, slurred. Although it probably wouldn't have sounded like that, but rather more of: "Hnggg ded, nyueghvurrh dhoughd haboudghh liefghngg spesshh??!" but we cleaned up the dialog for practical reasons.

"Gimme another drink," she tells Ted, slamming another twenty on the counter.

The half-man, half-octopus barman named Jeff looked at the weird undercover space-hunter weirdly. He couldn't really understand what she was saying so he grabbed an empty glass and filled it with freshly squeezed lemon juice.

"My name's not Jeff," he told her. He gave her the lemon juice and took the twenty. Looking around, he swiftly put the piece of paper in his mouth.

"THAT CANNOT BE!" a third voice shouted, this time coming from normal human cop Tom Thompson. "You cannot be Jeff! Have I been lied to all my life?" He put his head in his hands and started to sob.

"What kinda Tom's diner is this if the counter-dude's not named Tom?!" he wailed.

Rachel started to pat his back. Well, what she thought was a good approximation of a pat. It was more of a thump. Three actually. It almost broke his back.

"Will you guys just shuuuut up!" a dead looking girl yelled slamming her hands on their table. Seriously, where can a girl get any peace??

[[ i have no idea P: ]]

Human Cop ignored the girl, he kept sobbing and wailing, partly because his back hurt like hell.

((It's really just a random place. It's weird and fun and this is was how I learned. XDD))

A fairy that had floated above them danced in front of their eyes.

"The dead-girl is right!" she exclaimed, in a surprisingly deep baritone voice, "We should all just shut up for it is I that is Ted and this is my diner!! The octopus is my wife and we've got a son named Jennifer!!"

The ghost girl looked at the floating orb of light, "What the hell?"

The fairy winked at the ghost girl, "What's cooking good-looking. Name's Ted. Don't mind the fact I'm married. I've still got some UNF in me."

"Nice to meet you Ted. I'm dead." she said monotonously. "And it's Charlotte."

Ted made a face, his beautiful fairy face scrunching up in disgust.

"Ew... I don't like the name Charlotte. Too fancy for my taste." the fairy then floated towards the counter, "Honey, you've got the honey for pooh bear yet? He's gone rabid."

"Ugh! Well Sorry for being born during the time the name 'Charlotte' was popular!" the ghost girl spat, turning back to her seat in the corner of the diner.

A cowboy came in the diner, looking all tough and dusty. He walked up to the diner and swatted the floating fairy out of his way.
"Charlotte, one squirrel for the road, "he removed his ten gallon hat, the kind that reached the roof and held water, and sighed, "On second thought, make that two."

"Whoa whoa, cowboy, the heck isshat shiz in yo head?" said a drunk lizard man. His face was all scales, his hands were webbed and his tongue, split in two. "Eh? EH? Comin 'ere in this'ere joint without even payin' us attention!"

The ghost girl paid no attention to the lizard man nor to the cowboy. "Hey, you slimy reptile, get the hell outta here!" spat the other bartender in a smooth manly voice. Don't ask what gender, it's hard to tell.